How to Celebrate A Milestone Birthday During Covid-19
Stay home if you are sick.
My friends Alli, Sheryl, Nan and I decided during the coldest winter months of early 2020 that we would plan a getaway weekend for our friend Anna’s 50th birthday in late May. With our hibernation tendencies in full swing back in January, even the thought of making this plan warmed our chilly bones.
We tossed around some ideas: See shows in Manhattan! Hike in Vermont! Relax at the Vineyard! But by the time winter began fading, Covid-19 had arrived to squash our getaway plans before we had the chance to make them. Going somewhere during the mandated quarantine became out of the question, but we were determined to find a way to memorialize the occasion.
Don’t gather in groups.
With the governor’s State of Emergency still in effect in mid-late April, we knew a small, outdoor gathering the following month would probably be the best we muster given the circumstances. Anna’s husband Peter emailed an invitation to far-flung friends and family to send video birthday greetings that he would stitch together online. After so many months in quarantine, the potential for a little gathering and a video actually started to feel like a big deal.
Wear a mask.
Sheryl had the great idea to special order masks to wear on the occasion. The birthday girl would get a bright red one with a glittery 5–0 printed across the mouth. The rest of us got black cotton masks with a screened photo of smiling Anna printed front-and-center.
On the big day, we met in the street at 6:55 pm in front of Anna’s house to get our masks on and enter her backyard for the small gathering she hadn’t known would take place. We obviously hadn’t seen each other in months, so I sounded an air horn to set the tone for our arrival as we trooped up the front slope of her yard and around to the back deck.
Stay 6 feet apart.
First order of business upon seeing the birthday girl was to give her the 5–0 superhero mask, which she dutifully wore at least some of the night. Someone snapped a panoramic photo of our celebratory group of 10 standing in socially distant formation around the deck with our masks on.
Do not share food.
The food was definitely a concern. Peter had said he wanted to take care of it, and we had no idea what he’d planned. Turns out, he’d flown genuine Barbeque ribs up from North Carolina. Who knew you could do that?
The delectable spread also included cheeses and pates from our local cheese shop, artfully arranged on platters with plenty of serving utensils. Individually wrapped empanadas were passed around as hors d’hoeuvres in Chinese food containers.
Remain outdoors when possible.
Sometimes, you just have to go to the bathroom. Enough said.
Wash hands often.
This follows after using the bathroom, although I’m not sure anyone went inside for handwashing beyond their private business. I wasn’t about to ask, but plenty of hand sanitizer was strategically located around the deck. People were certainly doing their best to use it abundantly. I found myself trying to keep it off my food and out of my mouth, not easy when taking off and putting back on the face masks.
Avoid touching face.
Again, this becomes impossible when eating and imbibing while wearing a mask.
Clean frequently touched surfaces.
Yes, lots of napkins and hand sanitizer.
Cover your mouth when coughing or sneezing.
I didn’t hear anyone coughing or sneezing, but the highlight of the night came when a massive platter of cupcakes arrived. Each cupcake was generously decked with a swirl of icing and a candle, a brilliant concept for socially distant dessert. No cutting the cake and doling out portions; each guest could grab their own.
Peter set the platter on a table. Guests gathered to watch as he courageously determined to light all of the candles with one match, which was dwindling way down and bringing fire in dangerous proximity to his fingertips. The suspense of whether he’d be able to finish the job without third-degree burns had us all rapt. He did it! We burst into a rousing round of the Happy Birthday song, while Anna basked in the attention of her socially distant guests, dear friends brave enough to step outside their bubbles during a pandemic so they could join in her 50th birthday celebration. At the end of the song, Anna was so caught up in the moment that she sucked in an enormous breath and blew out all the candles in one moist gust.
A vigorous debate followed about the wisdom of anyone besides Anna eating those cupcakes. General consensus was that letting those particularly delicious-looking, generously-sized, carrot-cake-with-cream-cheese frosting cupcakes go to Anna alone would be criminal, birthday or not. Each of us proceeded to eat a cupcake, although I’m guessing I’m not alone in having carefully scraped off a top bit of the frosting.
Don’t shake hands or hug.
Saying goodbye without our usual hugs and kisses made the night feel incomplete, but we managed to end the evening. Anna thanked us for coming and went inside to watch the video of those who were not able to be present for all kinds of reasons. We drove home with the car windows down and moon roof open, pondering not only 50 years, but also our new normal.
